Music related quickies (jokes, that is)

[rockrealmsjon]

Anyone know any good (and short) music related jokes?

I'm trying to compile the best ones on my, ahem, website and am running low on inspiration.

To get the ball rolling, how about:

How do you make a keyboard player cross?
Nail two keyboard players together.

Why are jokes about drummers so short?
So bass players can remember them.

How does a lead guitarist change a lightbulb?
He grabs onto it and the world revolves around him.

How many sound men does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, two, one, two, two, two, two, four, four, one, two...

Right, now I've finished offending everyone... and you're all sat there with blank expressions on your faces as the tumbleweed drifts by, it's your turn! ;D

[Liz from Cheshire]

What do you call someone who hangs round with musicians?

A drummer ;D



Careers teacher "What do you want to be when you grow up, lad?"

Lad "A drummer"

Careers teacher "You can't do both"

[Paul B]

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing
Queen on it. I thought, "That's Aboriginal."

I'll get me coat!

P

[Boatman]

What is the definition of perfect pitch?
Throwing a banjo into a skip and hitting an accordion!


You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
Oh yes you can, you simply adjust its scales!

Inscription on a blues' singer's tombstone:
"Didn't wake up this Morning..."

What is a wind instrumentalist's favourite soft drink?
Flute Juice

A piano fell on an Army base resulting in...
A flat major...

On that note I'd best go!

[joedray]

Jan 31, 2009 20:06:10 GMT Boatman said:

Inscription on a blues' singer's tombstone:
"Didn't wake up this Morning..."

Classic!

[Boatman]

Saw a terrible gig in South East Asia once.



What - Singapore?



Yeah, he was terrible. And the rest of the band were too. ;D

[rockrealmsjon]

It would be fair to say Boatman is the master of the art...

[sistermoon]

Heard this on 'Peep Show':

Jeremy has been told to get a job to pay Mark's rent and he says 'Have you seen the old man outside the seamen's mission? Not very f*ckable, is he?'

Jeremy then went to a sperm donor clinic. By the way, the above quote from Ralph McTell's 'Streets Of London' reminds me of a bit in a Billy Connolly book where he tells of being with the singer and actually getting lost - in London!