Post by Woody on Apr 10, 2010 17:14:09 GMT
- You hate Brummies when amongst fellow Black Countrymen, yet side with them when in the company of the rest of the nation.
- Your school trips consisted of an annual jaunt to the Black Country Living Museum.
- You have sometimes wondered what the hippo ever did that was so great as to warrant getting a statue next to Sister Dora.
- You don't think a polish war veteran living in a tent on a motorway island is all that weird.
- You have been accosted by a mad black woman screaming about Jesus in the bus station.
- A man who used to dress as a cowboy and talks about tennis players in short dresses is a perfectly normal character to bump into when doing your saturday shopping.
- You know firsthand that Jesus loves cowboys too.
- You have been "spotted" by a director in Wolverhampton. Unfortunately, he was an ageing spanish porn director who was quite probably a paedophile.
- Although you detest them, you will never believe Manchester is overtaking Birmingham as England's second city. You are even prepared to lose Sandwell to the cause.
- You spend your whole life trying to get out - but always come back although you hate yourself for it.
- You get annoyed that the name of your county is "West Midlands" as that is a geographical location and not a suitable name for a county.
- You are related, however distantly to someone in Slade.
- You have had a cup of tea with Noddy Holder's mom.
- It will always be "mom". "Mum" is for poshies and doesn't sound right.
- You remember when Jeremy Kyle was just a voice on Jezza's Confessions and tuned into BRMB every night for it to listen to a man who's wisdom knew no bounds.
- You can call someone "cock" and not get your face kicked in.
- You cringe when you hear your accent on TV.
- You have often wondered what life would be like if Walsall hadn't turned down the railway station that went to Birmingham all those years ago.
- If someone tells you they are from Dudley, you can't help by say "AM YOW FRUM DUDLAAAAAY?" and talk about how you almost lost your life in that earthquake.
- Your family is a lot like The Grimleys.
- You get seriously annoyed when southeners think you're northern, a northerners think you're southern. West MIDLANDS. OPERATIVE. WORD - MIDLANDS.
- You get a cold outside the area and panic because nowhere else sells Gray's Herbal Tablets and they are the only thing that will help. Your Grandad said so.
- You know for a fact that the lake in Walsall Arboretum is bottomless, and know werewolves live there.
- It isn't weird for radio station to dump a shit load of sand in your local town centre and declare it *insert name of town here* On Sea.
- You're proud of the fact that we have more miles of canal that venice.
- There is a bus driver with a personal vendetta against YOU.
- Your grandad used to feed you pigs brain and trotters, and you didn't think it was child abuse.
- If you're fortunate enough to live on a good estate, you are always only a street away from the really really bad one.
- You were born in one of the worst hospitals in the country, and you went to school with mostly illiterate people.
- Putting washing up liquid in a fountain makes a so-so day excellent.
- You are on first name terms with most of the local tramps, but they never remember you when they are sober
- Seeing a man on the horse statue without tin foil on the horses balls makes the statue look unfinished.
- You stand outside Wolverhampton Art Gallery for an hour just to prove to your friends that there IS a wolf in sheeps clothing in there.
- You learned in your youth that the only way to drink a bottle of white lightening is to spin drink it around the back of a church.
- When out with friends who hail from elsewhere, you have been known to scream at the top of your lungs: "I AM NOT A BRUMMIE - I AM A YAM YAM!"
- You don't have to worry about keeping in touch with new music because you know that if you give it a week, you'll hear it all on the bus anyway.
- Birmingham will never be in the Black Country - no matter how much they want to be.
- you move to London and the locals can understand the strongest polish and eastern european accents better than your own.
- you see shopping trolleys and traffic cones in the canal rather than boats
- anything good is referred to as 'The dogs bollocks' or 'That's Bostin.'
- grey paes and bacon is a common meal in the household.
- you acknowledge 'want some suck?' actually means 'want some sweets?' ..not anything explicit.
- the only paper you'll ever read is the 'Express and Star'. And on that note, mostly for back page - The footy
- your mom tells you to wear clean underwear when you go out in case you get run over by a bus.
- you turn one syllable words into two syllable words such as door and floor
- u spake to sumone ,they luk darn their noses at ya and then try to spake the serm.
Woody
- Your school trips consisted of an annual jaunt to the Black Country Living Museum.
- You have sometimes wondered what the hippo ever did that was so great as to warrant getting a statue next to Sister Dora.
- You don't think a polish war veteran living in a tent on a motorway island is all that weird.
- You have been accosted by a mad black woman screaming about Jesus in the bus station.
- A man who used to dress as a cowboy and talks about tennis players in short dresses is a perfectly normal character to bump into when doing your saturday shopping.
- You know firsthand that Jesus loves cowboys too.
- You have been "spotted" by a director in Wolverhampton. Unfortunately, he was an ageing spanish porn director who was quite probably a paedophile.
- Although you detest them, you will never believe Manchester is overtaking Birmingham as England's second city. You are even prepared to lose Sandwell to the cause.
- You spend your whole life trying to get out - but always come back although you hate yourself for it.
- You get annoyed that the name of your county is "West Midlands" as that is a geographical location and not a suitable name for a county.
- You are related, however distantly to someone in Slade.
- You have had a cup of tea with Noddy Holder's mom.
- It will always be "mom". "Mum" is for poshies and doesn't sound right.
- You remember when Jeremy Kyle was just a voice on Jezza's Confessions and tuned into BRMB every night for it to listen to a man who's wisdom knew no bounds.
- You can call someone "cock" and not get your face kicked in.
- You cringe when you hear your accent on TV.
- You have often wondered what life would be like if Walsall hadn't turned down the railway station that went to Birmingham all those years ago.
- If someone tells you they are from Dudley, you can't help by say "AM YOW FRUM DUDLAAAAAY?" and talk about how you almost lost your life in that earthquake.
- Your family is a lot like The Grimleys.
- You get seriously annoyed when southeners think you're northern, a northerners think you're southern. West MIDLANDS. OPERATIVE. WORD - MIDLANDS.
- You get a cold outside the area and panic because nowhere else sells Gray's Herbal Tablets and they are the only thing that will help. Your Grandad said so.
- You know for a fact that the lake in Walsall Arboretum is bottomless, and know werewolves live there.
- It isn't weird for radio station to dump a shit load of sand in your local town centre and declare it *insert name of town here* On Sea.
- You're proud of the fact that we have more miles of canal that venice.
- There is a bus driver with a personal vendetta against YOU.
- Your grandad used to feed you pigs brain and trotters, and you didn't think it was child abuse.
- If you're fortunate enough to live on a good estate, you are always only a street away from the really really bad one.
- You were born in one of the worst hospitals in the country, and you went to school with mostly illiterate people.
- Putting washing up liquid in a fountain makes a so-so day excellent.
- You are on first name terms with most of the local tramps, but they never remember you when they are sober
- Seeing a man on the horse statue without tin foil on the horses balls makes the statue look unfinished.
- You stand outside Wolverhampton Art Gallery for an hour just to prove to your friends that there IS a wolf in sheeps clothing in there.
- You learned in your youth that the only way to drink a bottle of white lightening is to spin drink it around the back of a church.
- When out with friends who hail from elsewhere, you have been known to scream at the top of your lungs: "I AM NOT A BRUMMIE - I AM A YAM YAM!"
- You don't have to worry about keeping in touch with new music because you know that if you give it a week, you'll hear it all on the bus anyway.
- Birmingham will never be in the Black Country - no matter how much they want to be.
- you move to London and the locals can understand the strongest polish and eastern european accents better than your own.
- you see shopping trolleys and traffic cones in the canal rather than boats
- anything good is referred to as 'The dogs bollocks' or 'That's Bostin.'
- grey paes and bacon is a common meal in the household.
- you acknowledge 'want some suck?' actually means 'want some sweets?' ..not anything explicit.
- the only paper you'll ever read is the 'Express and Star'. And on that note, mostly for back page - The footy
- your mom tells you to wear clean underwear when you go out in case you get run over by a bus.
- you turn one syllable words into two syllable words such as door and floor
- u spake to sumone ,they luk darn their noses at ya and then try to spake the serm.
Woody
